The next chapter starts here — and we mean that. Finding a home or new supports for your adult son or brother is not the end of his story, and it is not you giving up. It is the start of something: more independence for him, more people in his corner, and a life that keeps growing.
You Are Making a Loving Choice
Choosing a group home or residential placement for someone you love can feel like a loss. It can feel like failing him, even when your mind knows better. Please hear this clearly: reaching for the right support is one of the most loving things a family can do.
You are not letting go of him. You are widening the circle of people who show up for him. The men we serve are somebody's son. Somebody's brother. We never forget that, and we do not treat them like a case number.
What a Group Home Really Is
A lot of families picture something cold and institutional. That is not what this is. A group home is exactly what it sounds like — a home, where a small number of men live with the daily support they need. There are staff who help with routines, hygiene, meals, medication, and getting out into the community. But it is a place to live, not a place to be stored away.
The whole point is independence: good residential support helps a person do more for himself over time, not less. Many families tell us their son is more himself, not less, once he settles in.
What the DD Waiver Is — and How to Get on It
The DD Waiver is how Virginia pays for a lot of this support. "DD" stands for developmental disability. There are three waivers: the Community Living Waiver, the Family and Individual Supports Waiver, and the Building Independence Waiver. For someone who needs to live outside the family home with daily help, the Community Living Waiver is often the one that fits.
Here is how you get on it:
- Contact your local Community Services Board (CSB) — the front door; every area of Virginia has one, and they screen your family member to see if he qualifies.
- Get on the waiting list — slots are given out based on urgency, so getting on the list matters; do not put it off.
- Work with your Support Coordinator — the CSB assigns one (Virginia's name for a case manager) who guides you and helps connect your family member to providers like us.
If this feels like a lot, that is okay. Reach out and we will walk you through where you are and what to do next. Our Admissions & Referrals page also lays the whole path out step by step.
What MHSS Is, in Plain Words
You may hear "Mental Health Skill-building Services," or MHSS. It sounds clinical, but it is simple. MHSS is training, not therapy. A staff member works one-on-one with a person to build the everyday skills that make independent living possible — managing medication, hygiene, preparing food, handling money, getting along with others, and using community resources like buses, banks, and stores.
It is for adults (usually 21 and older, sometimes 18 to 20) with a serious mental illness diagnosis and a qualifying history. Think of it as coaching for real life.
What to Expect, and Common Worries Answered
"Will he be safe?"
Safety and dignity come first; our homes are staffed to give real, individualized attention.
"Will he lose his independence?"
The opposite is the goal — everything we do is aimed at helping him do more for himself.
"Will I still be part of his life?"
Absolutely. Families stay involved — visits, phone calls, care decisions, and planning. You stay his family, and we become part of his team.
"Is he just a number to you?"
No. Each person has an individualized, person-centered plan, and he gives real input into it.
How Families Stay Involved
A move does not end your role — it changes it. You go from doing everything to being part of a team that shares the load. You are still his advocate, still the person who knows him best, still invited into the plan. The best outcomes happen when family and staff work together, and we build for that on purpose.
Frequently Asked Questions
Am I giving up on my son by choosing a group home?
No. You are choosing more support for him, not less love. Many families feel guilt at this step, and it is completely normal. Most families find their son grows in ways they hoped for once he settles in.
How do we even start if we do not have a waiver yet?
Call your local Community Services Board and ask to have your family member screened. They will place him on the waiting list and assign a Support Coordinator. We are glad to explain how this works and stay in touch while you go through it.
Will I still be able to see him and be part of decisions?
Yes, always. Families stay closely involved through visits, calls, and planning. You remain his advocate and a key voice in his care.
What is the difference between MHSS and regular therapy?
MHSS is training, not therapy. Instead of talking through feelings in a counseling session, a staff member helps a person practice real-life skills — medication, hygiene, cooking, money, getting around the community.
How much will this cost us?
For most families, the DD Waiver or Medicaid covers the cost of covered services, so there is usually no separate bill to you. We will explain exactly what your family member's funding covers before anything starts.
What if I am not ready to decide yet?
That is okay. You can call just to ask questions and understand your options, with no pressure to commit. Many families reach out long before they are ready to move forward.